Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Be-Ro Bastardos

I've been a bit moody this week I suppose. A bit glum. A bit 'Victor Meldrew'. In fact a bit of a grumpy old bastard.

What I usually do to pull out of this kind of nose-dive (finances permitting - which they are not) is treat myself to something utterley frivolous and pointless. This time I've decided to lift my spirirts and extricate myself from the dog-house again by baking something tasty. A tasty treat.      (I don't need any more useless items of shit clogging up the already bulging closets).

Just add water...
I inherited my Nana's old Be-Ro cookery book from my Mum some time back. It's a pamphlet really, but is full of the most useful and simple cookery recipes you can find. No fancy ingredients involved. No need to travel on the back of a yak for 1200 miles to find them. No obscure herbs usually only to be found in a Chinese herbalists pants. No. Just honest to goodness things like lard (!!!) and sugar. (I replace the lard and butter with marg you'll be pleased to learn - coronary averted).

Dum dee dee, dee dum...
My Be-Ro book is encrusted with decades of dried-on fruit bits, fat stains, dusted with flour and glistening sugar and is in a generally 'well used' condition. In fact it's so covered in various cookery ingredients, it would probably be a reasonably tasty and nutritious meal in itself.

Anyway, I made some cherry scones...

...and a some jammy coconut madeleines.

Now I'm more at ease. I feel better for that.

If a little stodged. Fat bastardos.

PS. I went for the results yesterday. The tumour was benign! Relief all round here.  
Relieved fat bastardos...

Friday, 9 September 2011

"Jingle Bells"

I should be laid up, flat on my back today. Delightful though it may be, the thought of just gazing through the bedroom window up at the brooding sky all day is making me restless...

Sunny spells and showers - what a cop-out!
I had my 'orchidectomy' on Wednesday, which was a lot of fun, I can tell you.

I regret that I can't post a pic of the offending ball as threatened. It was apparently whipped away for dissecting and further tests and I have no pickled onions I can photograph it it's place!

I now have a new bollock 'fitted' that plays 'Jingle Bells' when it's in use (in use?!) and lights up in the dark, which is handy.

I had asked for 'She'll be Coming Round the Mountain When He Comes' as the tune but, as I'd not gone private, beggars can't be choosers.

I'm going off to gaze at the rain clouds again, now I've had a blog fix...