Friday, 13 April 2012

And so I walk...

...into the chemists, internet list in hand. I hate trawling up and down the aisles trying to find what I want so immediately seek out the first shop assistant I can find.

She's an attractive middle aged woman, dressed very smartly in her white pharmaceutical smock. She is stacking shelves with various medical products. I sidle up to her. I'll have some fun.
"Hi", I say, "I'm looking for some atheletes foot cream".
"Here, on this shelf", she says, pointing up and down at the shelf immediately in front of us. I pick up a tube of the cream.
"Do you have any vaginal - yeast - infection - cream?" I say, as I read each stunted word from the crumpled list.
She looks at me and pauses for a moment before replying. I can actually see her mind whirring, trying to make a connection here between my need for the foot cream and the thrush cream. She looks around quizically whilst she does so.
"My cock", I say, looking her right in the eye, "his head has become very inflamed and sore. I'll need to rub some of this stuff on it to try and cure it. It's starting to look very angry. Do you think this will do the trick?" Her mouth opens a little.
"Oh, and some iodine if you have it!"

Apply liberally...
Yes Jacques, my prized Copper Blue Maran cock (let's say rooster from now on shall we) has developed a rather nasty wound on his comb. He and the other cocks roosters have suffered a fair bit from frostbite over the past couple of winters but always recover. The frost-biten tissue just dies, dries up and falls off, and is a common occurance with both roosters and hens. This time though it looks a bit worse.

I wondered if it was Fowl Pox at first. Jacques does have white powdery spots on his comb occasionally, and a couple of black ones. Fowl pox is carried by biting insects such as mosquitos and there are two types. The first type is untreatable but the bird usually recovers after a few weeks. The legions heal but the infected scabs fall of and can infect other birds so it's quite contagious. The second type, known sometimes as wet fowl pox, is associated with the mouth area and can be fatal. A vaccine is available, to administer to the young chicks, but I didn't vaccinate these birds. Maybe I should have.

Jacques in fine fettle
Anyway, I don't think it is fowl pox. Jacques does like to occasionally fly the dividing fence and have a scrap with Loius the Ist, and what I think has happened is that he's got himself wounded (again) in one of these fights and the wound hasn't healed. When the chooks roost, I suspect the hens sitting in there with him have a bit of a peck at it. I could use gentian violet spray on his comb, that will stop the pecking if there is any. It's also anti-fungal and antibacterial so it's an option, but this product might not be powerful enough to clear the wound up.

He may also have Favus which is a fungal infection. This sounds more likely as the wound has left a bit of a depression in the tissue of his comb which is known as a favus cup. The thrush cream contains Clotrimazole which is an anti-fungal agent, same stuff as the atheletes foot cream, but in a higher dosage. I'll apply some of that to the wound and let you know how it goes.

So tonight I shall get the fishing net out again and chase Jacques around the orchard and give my 'rooster' a damned good creaming!

23 comments:

Elaine said...

Chris, you are a wicked man. You have made me laugh (yet again).

I hope Jacques gets well soon.

John Gray said...

wicked AND informed! a good mixture
I have massaged vaseline on my cock in very cold weather! it seems to help

Melodie said...

I wish I could have been there to witness this shopping trip!I hope this works and your cock,ok I can not even type that with a straight face,you rrooster does not get any more dents or depressions in it!

Texan said...

ROFL ok I just spit coffee on my computer screen laughing.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Ahem. Next time I need something potentially embarassing from the store, I know exactly who to send ;-) Hope your cock feels better soon.

Janet said...

Bwahahahahaha...

Jim said...

For a split second I thought a 'lady friend' sent you on an errand!! But then you became obsessed about your cock! And realized it was a 'male thing' going on....on your rooster!
Being a city-slicker who lives in a rural setting, I am always amazed at the care that hens/roosters require! I thought it was quite simple....thanks to you and John for the lessons in Poultry 101 (should I ever need to know).

Mitchell is Moving said...

I hope your cock... I mean rooster... is soon up and around and feeling much relief.

sarah toa said...

So you begin the story with cocks and end with chickens. Yes, yes. I'm studying your method Chris. It looks like you are really onto something.

Molly said...

Poor little cock, I mean rooster. Glad it's not fowl pox (is that the same as fowl pest? which is a pretty lethal disease. They used to have to cull the entire flock at one time. Chris, wish you could have taken a pic of the lady assistant's face - you are a one.

rangewriter said...

And I thought dealing with my scalp was a lot of hassle, I'm glad I don't have to deal with your cock.

Tom Stephenson said...

Fnarr Fnarr...

Lady Mondegreen's Secret Garden said...

As others have noted: you are naughty... and informative! Cockadoodledoo.

Cro Magnon said...

I do hope your cock (rooster) stands up to being massaged.

Chris said...

Elaine - you don't know the half of it! I hope he recovers soon too, he's my best boy!

John - in cold weather I'd have to find it first, lol.

Melodie - yes he's been bashed about a bit (the rooster I'm talking about)

Chris said...

Tex - easy, tiger!!

Lisa - just write me a list and we'll keep it just between us (and the others three people that read this blog!)

Janet - bless you!

Chris said...

Jim - I've been on many an errand (like you) and so have become accustomed to the crushing embarrasment of asking for stuff like this. Why only the other day I had to ask for 2.5 litres of vaseline! (Don't ask)

Mitch - thank you (I think...)

Sarah - if it were the other way round it would be cause for concern I'm sure.

Chris said...

Molly - not so much of the 'little' Mol, I have my pride you know - albeit delusional. Not sure if it's the same kind of pox, sounds like it might be.
I'll take some video footage next time and give the camera to someone else to film me being bundled into the police car lol...

Ranger - scalp? Have you been out scalping again?

Tom - ftang ftang...

Chris said...

Jeneane - I can imagine you actually making that cockadoodledoo sound as you typed it. Did you? Do it again...

Cro - viagra is a modern day miracle.

megan blogs said...

This had me laughing out loud. I don't know how you managed to keep a straight face.

hope Jacques recovers and that your ministrations are successful.

megan

Chris said...

Megan - it seems to actually be working! Another application tonight...

Fiona@RowangarthFarm said...

Chris -- you have a rare (and wicked!) wit. Love it!

Crow said...

:-) Oh yes. Stopped by to check in on you, and see you are perfectly fine. xx ~crow~