About three weeks ago, I discovered a 'lump' down below. Not the usual two but an additional bump on the right testicle. I did the expected thing and trundled off to see my GP and after she groped and prodded my balls for a bit made an appointment for me at the hospital for further investigations the following week.
The following Friday, myself and my partner (for moral support) spent the morning at the swanky new hospital. The consultant (another woman, yay!) groped and prodded around with my balls again and told me that I shouldn't worry, there was a bump but I wasn't in the right 'age group' to be at risk of anything nasty. Off I went for a series of ultrasounds, x-rays and blood tests, being told all the way though the stuff about not being in the 'at risk' age group.
When I arrived back at the consultants office, another chap (senior consultant) was there to meet us. Yet another bod tickled my nuts for a bit and got us to sit down (honestly, I've never had so many women fondle my nuts in one day - except for that one occasion, but that's not for here!)
The nice senior chap quite calmly told me that actually it did appear to be a tumor and may be testicular cancer! Typical.
The bloods came back last week - clear. The x-ray - clear. I didn't know at the time but the chest x-ray was to determine if the cancer had spread to the lungs - very scary.
Anyway I have a choice now. Have the offending ball whipped off now (and dissected under a microscope to see if it is malignant) or wait six weeks for another ultrasound to see if the 'lump' has grown or whatever.
Either way it looks like I'm going to be walking slightly lop-sided in the future.
Like I said either I'm going to be doing a lot less, growing, fishing and eating or a heck of a lot more! Hopefully the latter.