Friday 4 May 2012

It's May!!

How the hell did that happen?

Seems I've been rained indoors for an eternity which has dampened my mood somewhat. The veg plot is completely devoid of any new planting due to it resembling the Somme at the moment - the clay soil steadfastly refuses to dry out. This is p*ssing me off no end. I do have rhubarb to eat, managed to grow that so far (it grows itself - that's why!) so that's good. My stomach is likely to have other ideas about the wisdom of eating large quantities of rhubarb and custard though. I shall have to eat more grass and nettles to balance out the diet a bit. Please God send some SUN!

Let us pray...

...Dear Lord, please could you let the sun come out to play for all of the coming month. May my stomach recover from all that rhubard tart. Please Lord, could I win the lottery this Friday so I can buy some land in warmer climbs, somewhere the sun always shines, the people are nice, the women are single, desperate and plentiful. Yes Lord, please may I go to Wales!! Failing that, a 3 mile stretch of the African coast and a beach hut would do. I'm not fussy. Oh, and don't forget the money.

Thank you.

Amen.

We will now sing hymn number 208...Abide With me.

"Abide with me, fast falls the even...C'MON SING!...tide,..."

For Gobber...send me your e-mail for FH logo...

34 comments:

devonmama said...

Heeeeheeeheee...thanks Chris, that's my giggle for Friday sorted! Hope you get some sun. Need to plant something (other than rhubarb, I agree with you there about eating too much!) x

megan blogs said...

LOL, what a great poster for Gobber's Tours!

We've been having rain most of this week as well. I had hoped to uncover the boat and get started with some of those to do items.

My garden has been sadly neglected as well.

megan

Shaheen said...

You sure you want to come to Wales, I am there and I am not single and guess what, its raining frogs here too. I think you will have to look at the African coast for warmer climates for sure.

I totally empathise with your neglected growing plans, as mine have halted too. My plastic greenhouse was taken away by mother nature at the w/e and my compost bin rolled somewhere down the motorway, never to be seen again. So yes the rain is a permanent dampner for us gardeners who want to progress with our growing.

Chris said...

Carly - I think I have a bit of cabin fever, sat in the house with my box of seeds, and a million woodworking projects to be getting on with. AGGHHHH!

Megan - I'd have thought you would be pleased with all the rain. After all, there's so much more water to explore in your lovely boat now!

Shaheen - but I'd heard Wales was a tropical paradise! Maybe that's just Cardiff.

Saw your compost bin at J28 M1 yesterday doing about 80mph, police in hot pursuit.

Moving with Mitchell said...

Be careful what you wish for. Won't you be surprised when all your wishes come true and you're posting from Trelawnyd.

gz said...

Nettles are lovely- in moderation!!

As is rain!! Unfortunately although the reservoirs are full of rain runoff, not enough will soak in....driving yesterday I saw a lot of field on the road, washed there by the rain.

Sue said...

Our veggie plot resembles a swamp after weeks' of rain. My husband went out this morning to plant some courgettes and I haven't seen him since. Lots of bubbles coming up through the soil though...

Chris said...

Mitch - the Lord works in mysterious ways!

Gwynneth - that's the crazy thing about all this rain - there's still a hosepipe ban in some parts of the country.
Harder to catch fish in the local reservoir too, now they're not all swimming in one shallow puddle.

Sue - do we need to send out a search party for him?
Priorities; Insurance policy first, then the search party! ;-)

Anonymous said...

I'll trade you my sun for your rhubarb and rain (that means you get the humidity, too) And I can probably find you a lot of single cowgirls who drink like fish.

Chris said...

Janet - now you're talking!

DebH said...

Nicely put without being too wanting on the "money theme", I think God has a good sense of humor.....so I think your IN!
Good Luck and Let that Sun shine..it'll help wonders!!
p.s.
women are single..and desperate..gad..still chuckling.

Molly said...

AMEN!! It's a bit soggy here too, Chris. If you win the lottery which I'm sure you will, can we come and help you spend the tenner. We could have a bring-a-bottle, rhubarb and custard party.

Chris said...

Debs - He sure has! Certainly did the day he made me (a Friday afternoon job!)

Molly - now your place IS wet, granted. I'm trying to get enough timber to make an ark!

You would be more than welcome to help spend the tenner Molly, although your suggestion of a 'rhubarb and custard party' sounds ever so slightly pervy...I'm in!

Tom Stephenson said...

One of your best. Actually, 'Abide With Me' is one of the few hymns thrashed out on an old and wheezy organ that I can stomach.... errr....

Molly said...

You don't half brighten my week up. I was thinking more foody than pervy, I was.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Send me the rest of the rhubarb tart custard deal. I'll finish it off!

Chris said...

Tom - I've told you before about thrashing your old organ. This is a family show!

Molly - yeah, I believe you. ;-)

Lisa - Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. What am I going to do with you?

John Going Gently said...

chris
that made me smile for the first time today
I will get you to design a poster for my next allotment open
xx

Cro Magnon said...

Didn't I write that exact same piece myself? Maybe I just intended to!

Chris said...

John - I will happily do that for you John. Maybe Auntie Glad can wear the bikini on that one?

Cro - you HAVE sunshine! In fact I think the French steal all our share. I can see Agincourt happening all over again...

Hippo said...

Chris

I've been really crook these last three days so have only just crawled out of bed and switched the computer. The poster has cheered me up enormously, thanks for the laugh! The girls will be delighted you found space for them.

If you click view my complete profile on my blog, my email link is there. I can't wait to see what you make of a Fat Hippo's Logo!

Sunny blue skies and a balmy breeze in off the sea here. Now that I am on my feet, I might totter down to the shop, get myself an ice cold cider and sit outside and enjoy it. Food is still out of the question...

Chris said...

Tom - poor you! I hope you are ok and that it is self-induced and alcohol related rather than anything more serious such as a shark bite!
;-)

I'll rustle a logo up then and forward it to you asap. I still think 'Gobber's Tours' is more...apt.

Crack one open for me then and try and get your appetite back.

Jim said...

Hey, if a MAN can't dream, what's left?!
Now I can see the effects of rain, and overcast skies on you lot! lol Makes you all a little wonky!
I'll be cursed now for sure...I apologize for any 'truths' that may have been divulged.....

Melodie said...

Lol! I hope you get the answer to your prayer.Mine is similar but the opposite..
Lord, please let me get some money so I can move away from this dried out,overheated hell hole that is Texas...
I am singing now..Abide with me...

Chris said...

Jim - it's the nettle and rhubard diet that makes some of us 'wonky'. The rain just adds a large dose of misery to the mix.

Actually the all rhubarb diet caused me to hallucinate the other day. I could have sworn I saw you on a pygmy horse...

Melodie - maybe this coming Friday! Texas sounds like bliss to me at the moment!
You have a great voice btw. :-)

Jim said...

Pygmy horse! Whatever are you talking about, Chris! I REALLY think it's time Chris......lol

Jim said...

Hey Chris! Just a 'heads up' about my post for tomorrow, Wednesday....you may be interested to see a very short video clip at the end....hint, fish.

Hippo said...

Chris

The dreaded Luanda Lurgy. You are now looking at the new slimline hippo! Back on my feet today though.

Little Blue Mouse said...

Hope you've got your sunshine now, we've had a few lovely days this last week.

On another note, where did you get your trail cam from?

Chris said...

LBM - yes it's shining alright. Just in time for me to get man-flu. And we all know how bad that is! It's just tormenting me now, all this sunshine. :-(

The trail cam was bought from an ebay supplier, going by the name of 'Jedmark Uk' abroad, go for a UK supplier. Cost was approx. £120.00 incl. recorded delivery. Hope that helps.

Rebecca said...

Hope your prayers are answered and May brings you sunshine and warmth. Winning the lottery wouldn't hurt either...

Lady Mondegreen's Secret Garden said...

Surely there has been an improvement in your weather by now and you have found something else to eat (I had a salad last night of my own potatoes and walnuts). I remember seeing rhubarb growing in the ruins of a cottage north of Hadrian's Wall, where all was bleak and windswept and sparsely vegetated. What a survivor eh. I appreciate your tip about my bowlful of spaghetti ;-)

Jim said...

Chris! It's June! Where ya been buddy? Just being nosy!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Ahem. And now it's JUNE! Mid-June at that. Care to write a blog post for us? ;-) Hope you're doing well!